Vulnerable

When you experience it once, you may call it mistake, but if you experience it twice then let yourself drag into a deep hole, maybe its time to think you are addicted to falling.  Or it just the idea of a person is same with what you ever had. You want it, not because you fall for this guy maybe because you want your past back.

I dont think we are on the same page, i have a feeling that you just want to play around, then i know i being played but i just enjoy it because i know maybe i have a chance to get similar experience from my past. Life is funny, humorous, yet tragic.

So many silly things i ever did, but the worse is when i feel too adhere to something, or someone. Because the after effect is i can't let it go and i just keep pushing even i know my time and my moment is done.

I hope i can forgive my self for making that mistakes and know when to stop my self.

Cinta dan Hal Hal Yang Tidak Akan Terucap

Ada yang tidak terucap dalam kata di jarak hati yang keruh dan berduka. Ada yang kehilangan dalam baris kata kata yang menghambur namun tanpa makna. Ada yang bisu bukan karena tak mampu berkata kata tapi telah lama kehilangan seseorang untuknya berbicara.

Ada cinta, namun ada pula hal hal yang tidak akan pernah diucapkan. Bukan, bukan karena kau tidak bisa mengucapkannya kepada orang yang tepat, hanya saja kepada orang yang ucapkan, ia sudah tidak mau lagi mendengar. Karena waktumu sudah habis.

Ada yang telah kau ucapkan berulang-ulang namun sudah tak bisa lagi didengar. Dan ia sengaja pergi. Ia sudah tidak mau lagi mendengar. Ketika hal itu terjadi, maka hanya ada cinta, dan hal hal yang tidak akan terucapkan lagi selain sebuah kesempatan.

Sebuah kesempatan yang tidak akan datang lagi. Karena dari sepersejuta kemungkinan tidak ada tali tali yang mampu mengikat lagi. Kesempatan itu telah habis. Peluang itu telah selesai.

Cinta itu? Hanya meninggalkan dirinya sendiri dan hal hal yang tetap tidak akan terucap.

Simpan rapat di hatimu saja.

Norwegian Wood

I once had a girl 

Or should I say she once had me 

She showed me her room 

Isn't it good Norwegian wood? 

She asked me to stay 

And she told me to sit anywhere 

So I looked around 

And I noticed there wasn't a chair 

I sat on a rug biding my time 

Drinking her wine 

We talked until two and then she said 

"It's time for bed" 

She told me she worked 

In the morning and started to laugh 

I told her I didn't 

And crawled off to sleep in the bath 

And when I awoke I was alone 

This bird had flown 

So I lit a fire 

Isn't it good Norwegian wood?

The Beatles- Norwegian Wood

"Its a trigger, to push imagination far from home, cuddling and struggling to found.

At first i read Haruki Murakami's book, Norwegian Wood written at english than found it interesting and so poetic, then i listen the beatles then watched the movie. I still not finish it yet. but all the substance just makes me wonder and wonder. Make a new perspectives of my loneliness, more understanding to feel not okay.

to feel lost. to feel alone.  to feel disconnected with people.

i also had some similarity and feel the loss, the feeling from the past that calls me over and over again.

and how past could be so haunt our present. Echoing our relationship with others.

Its a crowded feeling come around from a lonely man.

A lonely man whom still searching what he lost.

Feel lost and disconnected over and over again..."

can we find the better place, norwegian wood?

...

Peculiar Chance

Need some more time, need some more space to make our time freeze and echoing to the present. I can see my self, long time ago feeling like what i'm feeling. but something is missing.
Something is not set on the right track.

People looking. Everyone looking for something that they feel missing in their live.
Whats the probability you can have, at least a chance to get what you really want in life?
Do you really sure you want what you want, and then pursue the biggest opportunity?
you dont know, like no one knows.

just keep it forward, and make today the best day of your life, make it meaningful, make it productive, make it rich, be grateful for anything you have and anything you dont.

Let everything you cant control, take every chance you got.

And, enjoy.

i hope i'm on the right track to makes my dream comes true.
:)

happy monday everyone!