Do Something.

picture from http://purplebuddhaproject.tumblr.com/

Recently i just decide to stop my routine from Muay Thai, Badminton and with some person.  I feel at this point i need a space for completely enjoy my time, do it time by time without less worrying or training to be better and better at something. I need something new, i want something new.  Even at my circumstances the logical choice is limited, i try my best to make my self surrounded by new things, because i dont want to end up regret what i've done.

Maybe after this busy month i will try something new, maybe start a new class to learn something i'm not good at.  I wonder what is my reason to stop, maybe i just get bored with a routine, target, upcoming event.  Getting tried to prepare something so i forget how it feels to enjoy what i'm doing.  Even my biggest motivation at the beginning is to chasing something.

So the decision is for my relationship too, i decide to stop my complicated relationship.  I make our communication stopped by rejecting a friend request, replying message and blocking all of his contact.  I want to make my mind clear that i dont want to add another complicated things in my life.  From now on, i will stop thinking to much and let it go.

I must admit it, i kinda have no idea what my passsion is.  A passion that i will say i sure to do it for the rest of my life.  This kind of commitment is the hard thing, because i still want more, expect more from this life.  I want more, more and more.

Of course the expectation sometimes the biggest enemy of reality, and here we come: dissapointed.  But as a normal human being, we have a need to be better, to move on, to want more than what we have.  And then last question, what actually we want?