our chats

Feels so touch when at the middle of the night you just saying to keep our relationship and can't wait for see how our babies looks like :')

Random Thoughts

Jam di laptop sudah menunjukkan pukul 1.02.  Berbeda dengan bb yang menunjukkan pukul 1.22.  Jam malam yang terbalik gara-gara libur singkat dengan jadwal kegiatan yang berbeda dari mess.  Entah kenapa aku lebih senang punya jadwal tidur yang sedikit terbalik.  Sejak SMA, kadang aku malah tidak tidur sepanjang malam dan langsung sekolah keesokan paginya dengan mata sedikit sipit seperti cina dan membantai tidur siang sepuasnya.  Entah kenapa aku lebih suka terjaga saat malam daripada ketika siang.  Ketika pagi ataupun siang.  Energiku untuk bersantai dan melakukan kegiatan-kegiatan di rumah atau kamar terasa sedikit dan malas.  Pada saat tengah malam aku merasa 'segar', mungkin, seperti yang pernah aku baca di sebuah majalah apa aku lupa mungkin itu adalah jam segar' bagi tubuhku yang lebih segar pada jam-jam itu.

Kadang-kadang aku bertanya alasanku ngeblog.  Mungkin karena ingin merekam apa yang menjadi jejak perjalananku saat ini? Kadang-kadang aku hanya ingin menulis.  Lebih daripada bercerita.  Walaupun sebenarnya kadang aku lebih suka membaca,daripada menulis, kadang mengalami writer's block dan ide seperti tersumbat.  Kadang ada puisi-puisiku mewakili diriku yang terdengar memang sepertiku dan keluar begitu saja ketika aku patah hati, kesal, atau malah jatuh cinta.  

Walaupun sebenarnya, untuk masalah cinta.  aku lebih suka menangis tersedu-sedu karena masalahku ketimbang memendamnya dan memikirkannya.  Aku lebih memilih untuk... melepaskannya.  Melepaskan perasaan itu pergi.  aku bisa dengan mudahnya menangis karena acara tv, karena ucapan seseorang, karena beradu mulut.  Tapi itu saja, aku menganggapnya sebagai solusi dari apa yang menjadi kegundahanku.  Aku ingin melepaskannya pergi...

Hellow ! Introducing you my besties.  His name is Ace (hmm sounds similar to a popular notebook types.red)  He's never lies.  but always tell you the truth, no problem as long as i prepared and keep him mouth in a microsoft word with general options with unpredictable password :)

Rumah

Baru merasa pahitnya rumah. Yang memanggil manggil.  Bersuara tentang orang yang akan selalu ada. lalu lalang.  Tanpa pamrih tanpa mengharapkan apa apa. Hanya terus menerus ada di kehidupan kita yang singkat.  Ia bernama keluarga.  Yang akan selalu kita rindukan.  Saat jauh.  Tapi kadang hanya hadir begitu saja, dalam kehidupan.  Terkadang ia terasa begitu penuh mengisi.  Tapi pula begitu kosong menngganjilkan ruang.  Tapi tak akan pernah ada dendam yang lama.  Takkan pernah ada resah yang tak berkesudahan.  Semuanya akan terus berjalan.  Bersama...

To Start a New

Sometimes its feels right to start a new things.  A fresh mind.  A great idea.  A space to explore all things you want to plan.  But this is life, you can't get anything you want.  with no effort.  Nothing in this world would be great if you just sitting comfortable at your chair and waiting miracle happens.  Miracle would be happen.  With some reasons.  and the reason is when you have more passion and positive ambition to get what you need.  Its all depend by a decision !

what i really want in life ?

Sometimes, i feel like i want to be really egoist that regret what i do.  Like now, sometimes i feels like i want to give up this situation.  But then i think, its not too bad.  I still can survive and pleased my parents with what i do.  I can pleased my self too.  Too much thing if i spent time just to regret.  Now i just will do best at where i do now.  Focus and reach the best, may be the way of what i want its hard and different, but it is one path and its not impossible to reach.  Just trying hard to be happy at what i do right now, i still, i still can survive, i believe that.

I May Not Too Good

i may not too good
Sometimes i lose my emotions
sometimes i hating people much
sometimes i really naughty
sometimes i be bitch
sometimes i be really evil
sometimes i a big dream, big vision
but i never care enough to people
i'm bad and i have ugly attitude
i'm bitch
and you stay away from me
then i'll mess you
i don't care
i never care
i'm dare
dare enough to ignoring you
dare enough to go
cause it is me
it is who i am
i dont care

selamat pagi terang

Because of my friends, agy that play that song again and again then i'm influenced !!! but i love the song, melody and lyrics... Just turn on my mood.  With awkward and ugly reality that must been facing.  All the temporary happiness, sadness... You will turn to one conclusion : Life will go on.

4 days left

After more than two weeks arrived at Balai Regency, Batang Tarang i got the internet connection at a little cafe there's have fasilitate the hotspot.  Alone and curious, i am bored then i take a moment for my self only not with my team.  I am really, really bored, when i'm at office i feel so sleepy, otak ketutup dan penat rasanya.  Entahlah, mungkin hanya efek dari mengantuk ditambah puasa hasilnya jadi tidak bersemangat.  Actually there is many things and many plans i want to do.  Enjoying the viewing, the river behind our 'home' that is very fresh and so natural, even sometimes scares me when i'm there for the first time, but i can't feel totally comfortable, i think it is because i'm not here permanent and my time is limited, so i can't explore more.  Then, i have a lack of skills to work in group.  That we are, six.  And sometimes i lose my mood to do something.  Called me moody-an but sometimes it is relieved to be honest expressing my self no matter people says.

My life has full of some pressure, an awkward moment, the passed time.  But now i'm on the show, i can't stop, moving anywhere i want, i dont even knowing where i am.  I am just keep living.  Keep breathing.  Enjoying life. Living with the sunset and more viewing. Relax and refresh myself to keep moving on the road if lifes. :)