At your hometown. I sit around, wondering how is your life here, how you grow up, with who you spend your afternoon time, wondering what are you thinking when you look at this street.
I still remember how you smile, how awkward your act when you stand beside me. How you dizzy and look so anxious when you tell me your feeling. I still remember.
The first time we met at the mosque. Our silly chat and our boring talk, even our silly and rough debate. The memory cant leave me alone even i try to escape.
So, here i am. At your hometown, i try to face the truth, face to face. To gather my fear facing your memory and the thought about you.
The awkward moment when i smell your perfume, cheap perfume but cling to my nose, even my feeling to getting closer to you. I judge you as a fool, silly and shallow. But i respect you as an individual. I respect your heart to each other, i respect your anger, i respect the world behind your eyes. Even for now, i'm not the part of it. It is relief to be detached from you. Your silly rules, silly perspective and silly protectiveness. But i miss you too.
For now, i will live my life as i know it. Like a free bird, have a choice to descend upon any branch. To be free to choose. Free from other, even free from my self. Through all the feeling i will feel. Through all the up and down. Without expect too much, but do what i can do. Do what i love to do. Without any regret, with my mind open to filter and collect the great things world offer me.
picture from tumblr.com
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