Its a quote from einzelganger, who quote Rumi "taking the path of love, is a matter of letting go rather than obtaining something". It just hit me, like all this time I always blame my self for my failed relationship, the anxiety to be worth enough to be loved by someone, to be with someone, to make someone stay long enough to the serious commitment. At first its just flowing like the water that at some points it finally drained me, why i cant make it.
but deep in my heart, i know i always surrounded with the love i seek for myself, from family, friends, coworker, the kind of love i always ignoring because i only want the special one, and search for it everywhere yet i never found it. maybe i just need that simple, everyday love that looks very shallow and like it doesnt matter, but consistent and stubborn to show up everyday. maybe i need more patience, like i never had before.
its the heartbreak and more heartbreak that teaching me more about loving my self, its dissapointment and another disappointment that finally teach me to stop depending on other's love, but start creating it for yourself.
the little bit of happiness when your friends call tell they need you to be with him. as an introvert, it may makes me calm to know that i have some impact for people's live and they need me to be with them. sometimes its as simple and as happier as it is.
atau kayak sound reels IG yang lagi sering lewat itu "kalau hari hari mu tidak berwarna, jangan sedih, warnai sendiri" lol :)
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