Monday, April 25, 2011

Thanks God !

Just staring at my old photos, in my memory, this is me when i want to go to pre-elementary school or called 'taman kanak-kanak' at Ketapang. When i was child, so many blurred memory, and i remember i made many mistakes that makes me feel stupid and silly. Until now, i still makes mistakes that sometimes makes me feel guilt. Sometimes its haunts me. Makes me think about that.  But i know, i must accept the fact that i am human.  Make a mistakes, again and again. Doing something that i must regret.  I must forgive myself. For all the fates that comes to me. And i must sure to make it not happened anymore. Because at life, people made mistakes. I must accept myself.  And working to make it better each day. 

So many precious time spent with my family, before i went to the university that must makes me live at dormitory and following so many rules. One of them is i just can see my family at the weekend, saturday and monday (and 1st year you just can go out once!) its about 4-7 hours.  Then i must go back to my campus.  At first, its really hard to not hearing my mother's called my name in the morning to wake me up and cook for me.  Really felt missing when i lost my 'night-time' with whole my family that we spent to discuss about anything while watching television and played with our cats at our parents bedroom, then silly fight with my sister and my brother.  At first it is so hard to adapt my not-so-dicipline with the dicipline time and rules at my new habbit.  

But its paid when i see that my parent give me a big support to be here.  And i know, this is my time for grow up, from the girl who can't ironing, washing her clothes alone, the girl who hated life with so many people and rather to be alone. Until now i must iron, wash, and live with roommate at one dormitory that filled with another 21 girls and with all the busiest things at my new environment.  All the hatred, joy, love just raised and growth make who i am now.  And i just can be more and more thankful for all the time that God give to me to life and feel another dynamics feelings, included anger, sad, depression a little.  Then i know, nothing to worried, all the problem will heal by time, by life.  World still cirling, and. The show must go on.

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