picture from http://purplebuddhaproject.tumblr.com/
Recently i just decide to stop my routine from Muay Thai, Badminton and with some person. I feel at this point i need a space for completely enjoy my time, do it time by time without less worrying or training to be better and better at something. I need something new, i want something new. Even at my circumstances the logical choice is limited, i try my best to make my self surrounded by new things, because i dont want to end up regret what i've done.
Maybe after this busy month i will try something new, maybe start a new class to learn something i'm not good at. I wonder what is my reason to stop, maybe i just get bored with a routine, target, upcoming event. Getting tried to prepare something so i forget how it feels to enjoy what i'm doing. Even my biggest motivation at the beginning is to chasing something.
So the decision is for my relationship too, i decide to stop my complicated relationship. I make our communication stopped by rejecting a friend request, replying message and blocking all of his contact. I want to make my mind clear that i dont want to add another complicated things in my life. From now on, i will stop thinking to much and let it go.
I must admit it, i kinda have no idea what my passsion is. A passion that i will say i sure to do it for the rest of my life. This kind of commitment is the hard thing, because i still want more, expect more from this life. I want more, more and more.
Of course the expectation sometimes the biggest enemy of reality, and here we come: dissapointed. But as a normal human being, we have a need to be better, to move on, to want more than what we have. And then last question, what actually we want?