Tuesday, May 21, 2013


The Rage of Achilles by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo

I can't say i'm a very patient woman, i'm not think i'm that evil but i'm not a saint, either. Sometimes, or often i just lose my temper. I easily getting distracted if people, especially my friend if they just cross my line. The definition of 'my line' is very absurd with my mood for that day. Sometimes i think that i'm too individual, or i don't know, have a different view and perception of mostly people at my circle. I have a big ego to feed, and i will never harm other if they are not disrupt me first.  I'm vicious, egoist, have a bad temper, individualist sometimes, i think i have all the bad character but sometimes its just not stay long of course. I'm human.  I made a mistake and will always do something that i may regret.  But i'm realize that all of that okay, if i can make it as a lesson to make my self better.  Of course for someone who do bad things to me i will not just be patient and defencelessness, i will make them pay. But i still have heart and my head could think to whats the best for me, for that time, whats the consequences, whats the impact from what i do.  Sometimes i will count all, sometimes i just lost that and decide to follow my heart.  For future we can't predict, for mysterious fate, i hope all of that can make me a better person.
So, based on wikipedia.com (I try to be a little bit scientific) there are two simple dichotomy from anger, passive anger and aggresive anger, passive anger expressed in dispassion, evasiveness, defeatism, obsessive behaviour, physchological manipulation, secretive behaviour, self blame and self-sacrifice and aggresive anger expressed in bullying, destructiveness, grandiosity, hurtfulness, manic behavious, selfishness, threats, unjust blaming, unpredictability and vengeance. Hmm I dont even really understand a few definition of them.  But we are getting upset sometimes, have a 'fire' in our heart, sometimes makes us release it to someone, or something.  Sometimes the anger is the stack of sadness that haunt for a long time.  Sometimes the anger is just another excuse for a dream that can't be achieved, a failed target, or a pressure from people so we make people suffer like we all do. Never can despite the fact that all of us is suffering.  We suffer from this life, even for the lowest level or life, we are suffer to live life.  Even just to keep alive day by day, we attack by this sense of boredom, and so many things that sometimes we just cant find the solution.  We can't have all the solution in life. We can't win all. We can't take everything.  We can't be okay everyday. That's the fact. That's natural and that is life.  Keep open your mind and try more to understand, even with people who have different idea, different perspective, fanatic person. Try more, try again.  Can't we just life in a peace?

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