This is my last letter for you, at least the last we keep in touch after that night. And for me, i hope it will be clearer than before.
For me, at first i dont believe the craziness of love. My last relationship just one month, and thats the longest relationship i ever had. Then i dont believe in fool things in love. For me before, love always rational, with all my doubtness and calculation. I always keep my self from hurting, before i know my bf cheated on me, i am the one who tell them i will left. I always left before i be bore with them.
With you, i start to know how love feels like, i know how i can be comfortable with a man i dont know. I learn how to be happy, irrational, and accept something i dont like. With you i learn to lost control of my anger, my desire and hurtful jealousy. With you i learn about the real pain and i cant believe i can cry for days and days. To be with you is something irrational and fool thing i ever done. To be uncontrol, to be fooled, to be pathetic.
But after all, i must admit that, to be with you is something i can resist. After all, i will find my self looking at you and feel the same things. Even in pain, pathetic things i done, it would back to the same results. I still can't lie about one thing. I still love you afterall. Even now, i learn new things, to let go something i doesn't belong anymore. To let you free even i dont want to. To let you feel happines because i'm not by your side. To be sincere keep this feeling then just give it away for you. To be patient and strong, thankful for what i ever feel before and now. No matter if you just cant love me back. Because its the sicerest things i ever feel. To love you, even knowing you cant love me back. Sounds pathetic? No, i dont think so. I thinks its make me sure, its love.
And for now, i just make sure i keep do the best thing for you, to go away from you. That you sure makes you happier. I will let love keep me stronger. I may dont know where it goes, but I know the love comes from God, so its the best that allowed to happen now. I just make sure i'll be grateful then enjoy all the things God makes me feel and do something positive about it. :)