In my past, there are several things i hope i didn't do. My silly and stupid mistakes that may harm and hurt other's people feeling. But its how life goes and we are capable to move on with our lifes. What matter then when the ripple effect of what are you doing in your past, maybe somehow connect to your present then one feeling comes out. Guilt. So i think, karma is just another version and dimention of something you do to others then makes you the feel that you are responsible, that you are somehow feel emphaty to people you hurt, that guilt will follow, then will attack you when the time is comes.
For now, i think i still have a chance to move on with my life, follow some of my 'basic instinct' to set me free. I can't really stop feeling angry, but at least i could make it positive and think more about how the ripple effect will affect my entire life, it will lead me to a question, is it worth to do ? Is the satisfaction balances with the risk ? I can't hate my self for feeling and being completely human. But i think i could decide whats the best for me now, can i ?