Comeback

Tonight i stay in my dorm again after this long time.  At thursday i will start my research and do some interview.  Start a new thing to me, doing this job.  Somehow i like this atmosphere, at my last semester, doing research, write, maybe i just love writing, and being persistence to revision and revision until my adviser get satisfied.  I prefer being busy, i love being busy than have no idea what will i do.  I dont know what the best thing i can do, i try some of my hobby and feel just not right.  I want many things in life.  

I want to sing, i want to write a book, i want to study abroad, i want to have a promising job so i can earn so much money to buy my dream house and my dream car, i want to open restaurant with very delicious food, i want to open cozy cafe with bookstore and jukebox, i want to have my own clothing line so i can design edgy and cool clothes for my consumer and my self, i want a soulmate that could love me as much i love him and being loyal to me, i want to go travel and dont worry about money, damn, i want so many things in life. Lol. 

Human life in a level they can afford.  What i want for now, is the next level of my life, but before i go to the next level, i realize that i must finish this level first with a high score.  Can I? My dad advice me to life at sufficiently, have a low expectation so if you dont succeed you dont dissapoint much.  But i think my version of sufficient is just like this. LOL. And by the mean have a low expectation maybe just keep in mind that what i want like that just a dream and its okay, and acceptable if i can't get it right now. LOL.  Oh, i'm just talking about myself, but, this is the purpose of this blog, isn't it? For my personal journal so next month, next year, or next decade i can connect my laptop to internet and search this link then i can think about what i ever thought. Maybe.

A (Little) Contribution

Recently just get busy because projects at Sungai Pangkalan Satu village.  I think because this village won  award of the Best Village's Model at Kalimantan Barat, award of Peduli Lingkungan Hutan, and award of Best Library in 2012 our team don't need extra efforts to rehab the administration or facilities.  We learn a lot here.  I think because the people is very dedicated, open minded and have a will to help, especially the village's head or we called it 'Pak Pong' a.k.a 'Kepala Kampong'.  He always monitoring the way of youth's life.  The culture of hang out or 'nongkrong nongkrong' are not complete if he is not around to talk a little or give a joke.  He also control the problem of many people here, like using drugs or alcohols.  So the people here are respect the Village's head and He is willing to help 24 hours and solve people's problem.  

I think this quality of leader are needed beside of the people's character who follow the leader too.  They need to respect, willing to help others, open minded and would do anything positive to make them place improved.  Our existence here would be end for 4 days, even i will take these days to take a trip to the island.  I will miss and remind this place.  Humble people, open minded, and have a will to help each other.

The city people, nowadays i think have this quality to.  Because we have same root-cultures.  The main problem is the 'city-people' is too busy and too lazy to socialite with their own environment.  Some of them would be have a big ambition to make anyhing effective, doing anything, like make a friendship, with a bigger purpose, like for their work, their career, or even for their future, to have some potential spouse.  So this purpose would eliminate the neighbours, and people they meet accidentaly.

So here, some documentation what i do, paint the monument of Sungai Pangkalan Satu, give a socialization with the dentist to brushing teeth for children, give a lesson of daily conversation for elementary children, and cleared the cement for little park and pond we made.  Fun !

Four weeks i spent here was great.  Dont think to do it again but beside of 'insect bite' that makes my skin is flaw and the lack of water i think this volunteering are the greatest experience ever.  Because not like the volunteering before this time we have our own projects, our own money and not bound to office's time.  So we could choose our time to socialization, doing project and synchronize our project with the village's plan.

Walking Away

  

Recently i visit Kuching for around 3 days.  By riding Bintang Jaya's bus for depart and Damri's buss for return.  After 10 hours sit at the bus finally i arrived.  The city is so clean, the public facilities is good.  I think i could enjoy my self there.  The neat country with concious people to following rules.  I dont even spend much time to walk away, just sitting around the cafe and staring, thinking about my self. What i have done in this year, and what lesson i learn.

This is the rough years for me after all.  I had my first fall.  I feel extra for everything.  I feel something more that i never feel before.  I learn and learn.  But i hope i still not missing my hope.  To being better.  To be grateful for what i have now.  This is not about other person.  It is about my decision to taking control of my self, taking control of many things i can't control and try to let it go because life is go on, and i should move on.

There is many more in future, many dreams i can believe rather than stuck with something i cant control.  Its nice to remember all the memories, but what in past, stay in past.  All i have is this present.  And i can do is do my best.  

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” 

― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld, #32)

Lemukutan Island

Last Friday-Saturday, 20-21 September i just went to Lemukutan Island, with the connection my friend had with the owner of small house at that island and for rent the boat. Me and my friends, about 25 people was went there.

I feel so relaxed, and have time to talk about absurd things with my friend, B.  At the night i just have time alone, sitting in the darkness to think about so many things that happened in my life.

Sometimes i have a dream to life simply like at the village with peaceful place, no crowd, no technology, close to the beach and close to the nature.  Then all the things in this world i should worry just about how i survive then eat, then sit along day with real physical things.

I really like this holiday, because its not just a holiday, it can give me more inspiration to life.  Then i can give my best at what i have because i have the comparison and see about people at other's conditions life.  Sometimes i just wonder what if i born in some different life, and think am i happy with what i get?  Or can i be happy if i feel the other's side of fate?

I still have no idea, and life is full of mystery, but i really want to enjoy what the universe give to me.  It is the only things i have.


-k.o

The Stick Master

Marching Bands Goes to Mempawah

At March, 4th 2012 our marching band team accompanied my senior to the office of Mempawah's proconsulate.  They would stay at Mempawah, spread at 9 village at Toho.  That is their part of to arrange their script, to make program and implement it at the villages.  At this event, we accepted by the deputy of Mempawah regency.  This is irman's hometown and his parent is come to visit and watching.

history from the buried

Mandor is one of place at West Kalimantan that have historical moment. A life witness seeing how many fighter must die, thousands leader in all West Kalimantan died on Japanesse company's hand. Because of politics. Its all about power. How people could kill their humanity for something materials.
The shocking news also shocking me, a student college die while demo to the council, Sondang, then farmers killed at Mesuji, because of palm oil company.
I still dont have clear idea for my future. I dont know will i gonna be fighter that may die in pride, or common people? sometimes i feel there is something in this life i must achieve, to be reminded, to be a story. But for that i also have something to suffers.
Can I? May I just want to life peacefully, but I know I must fight for all I want to. At least for myself, for my pride( but not for extreme way) and for people that always supports me.

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