until now, i life in gigantic moments of having no idea- or doing whatever comes. following the constructed society or following the order. sometimes its easy to go with the flow because we dont need to do the extra effort, just riding the wave, even we dont like the wave.
sometimes the grand question of my life is : why should i do that?
why people demand me to do the certain things i dont wanna do. why unconsciously i follow the rules when i dont have time to think about it. the more age i go, the more i have this resistance to not doing things i dont like, to not engage to activities that doesnt give me value, to leave the situation that doesnt benefit me, to leave the circumstances that doesnt give me new perspectives.
now, i kinda like to not sorry saying no. its relief.
im okay to be hated. i once tried to be liked and it just never worked too. so i dont care about it. people too. they shouldnt leave their expectation to me, they shouldnt tell me what to do if im not asking.
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