or maybe because in the last months, he fill my empty cup with tender love i want this long, and start to makes me dreaming that maybe, maybe i could be happier this time.
the expectation always kill.
maybe its the timing, maybe its the uncomplete, irresistible love i cant have that will always stay on my mind. maybe i just get lazy to heal from my amazing past relationship and i start to make an excuse to crawl and crying on my bed.
maybe im a spoiled girl who want to complain and cry when i dont get what i want. not because i really need it, just because i hate the idea that i cant have what i want.
i like my self when im with him. that desperate girl try to be the better version of herself because he is just a good guy that do everything right. and this decision, to left me, is the decision that i respect of too. because this decision means he is a good guy and stop playing with me. because he never really cant give me what i want, what i need. and its over.
and i want to enjoy the quiet, the feeling of missing him. because its means that it ever matter. its matter, suprisingly its that good. the plain and sincere relationship i never had before. never the same love twice. and you are the extra-ordinary one.
but also, i will ready now, packing my bags and ready to move into the next chapter that waiting for me. i dont know how long i will wait, i dont know how messed up next relationship i will be. one thing for sure, i crave for the best, and ready to whatever comes to me. again.
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