Keeping Track

Recently just being busy with my things, working at gov's company as a non-permanent employee.  Things just get routine day by day, waiting the weekend.  Time is moving so fast, then i start to lose my track. Day by day i spent all the night with same people, same situation, nothing muse me beside 2 weeks ago i climb a niut mountain and we failed.  I dont know when i walk the track, i just keep thinking all the things that happen in my life.  I just lost it, i still on the stage of searching, try hard to make some meaning, the feeling of losing something, something that still uncompleted.  By that i have a strong needed to not want to lose at the forest, or die because of falling over the edge, besides the destiny i should have.  That is my motivation, i have something that i don't have in this life, and this life i live still pointless.  I cant agree more if you tell me to being gratitude, i am thankful for what i have now but still.  As a human i think its natural to want more than i have, to make yourself keep moving forward.  I dont know, this post is pointless but also have a clear point than ever.  To knowing whats is pointless looks like, so tomorrow, we understand what we will not do.

The World You Live In

The talk at the coffee shop could goes anywhere.  Then we talk about people, about how they can think so different for us, so false by our judgemental mind by how they can affect our lives, tell people about gossip that may could ruin your reputations, your intends. Well, welcome to the real life.  There would be always some people that take you wrong, can't understand you, hating you so much (or jealous) or, i dont know just want to make some mess to your life.  There would be.  But remember maybe at some point its your fault too, to listen to them than listen to your friends that always support you, sincere to see you at your best, to feel happy for your happiness, to pray for your success, support you when you down.  Appreciate your true friend, ignore the narrow-mind-people that just mess-with-your-mind.  People make mistakes, at some point, we make a mistake that make us regret too, dont feel shame to ask forgiveness, or forgive. Create the heaven besides hell, its your choice, its the world you live in.

@sukasukacoffeeshop

10.00 am

4.30

Di tempat itu, kita kembali bertemu.  Membicarakan hal hal gila yang tidak akan terlintas bahkan di benak kita sendiri.  Aku mengalami, aku melalui kegelapan itu bersamamu.  Tidak, tidak ada cahaya di ujung sana yang menantiku.  Aku stuck, terjebak, gagal. Tapi tidak apa.  Mungkin kegelapan pada akhirnya akan mengajarimu untuk belajar melihat dalam gelap.  Mungkin bahkan gelap punya arti lebih dari terang.  Mungkin terang hanya persepsi mereka yang telah lama nyaman dalam terang.  

...

Dia yang membuatku berada di sini, di dalam kegelapan, dan ia mengambil jalan pulangku, rumah yang kuimpikan tinggi di atas awan dengan tiada kegelapan.  Aku hanya jatuh terlalu jauh dari jalan pulang. Dan sepanjang perjalanan, aku membunuh semua terang yang menghadang jalanku.  Aku tidak membutuhkan kemenangan, aku membutuhkan sebuah pembalasan. Pembalasan untuk meneguhkan bahwa aku menang akan terang, dan gelap akhirnya memenangkan terang.  Tapi aku lupa satu hal, bahwa tanpa terang, aku tak tahu jalan pulang.

...

On track

*taken by my oppo find mirror

Sometimes i have some urge to do things, one of that is running (*picture).  Sometimes i dont want to think much. I just do what i want to do, things that cross my mind, then try at that moment to realize it before i lost it.  I think its worth, to close your ears about what others says (but no harm) then do what you want to do.  Even its weird but lets be weird together.  (even i dont mind to do it alone too).  I dont want to regret everything i ever do.  This moment is this moment.  Period.

lets do it.

then be clueless.

but i think thats the point, anyway.

Sunday

Watching some random movie about silly love. Eating mie instead of something under the hood of food.  Writing at this blog instead of doing something more useful.  Life is this, life is that.  I read the book you never read, because i know you dont read, any book at all.  Sleeping and then waking up feeling horrible cause of the vision looking my ex, its a pain.  And then awake, doing anything that can distract me, trying hard to feel positive, do positive, doing anything makes me busy, killing the bad feeling.  It is something i must deal everyday, everyday is a fight, sometimes you lost, sometimes you win. But i still want to see another bright sky, another wind that going through my face and then i close my eyes to enjoy anything life brings to me.  I still want to feel ache on my eyes when i see the sky from my window, the tree, the birds, the sleeping cat.  This is my life, anything could happen.  But i will step forward, leaving all the thing in the past behind.  

Here i am now. 

Nothing else matter.

36/365

"I want to shoot every moment of my life, to remember.   When people say social media are bad, i think they're not bad, my generation want to shoot and capture every moment of our lives.  I think its so old minded of designers who stop communication with the world" -Olivier Rousteing (Balmain fashion house)

Katamu, ini cinta?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika ia tidak membalas cintamu
kau berhenti?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika ia berbuat kesalahan
kau marah dan menghukumnya?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika kau dibuat menunggu
kau meninggalkannya?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika kau disakitinya
kau tak memaafkannya?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi egomu selalu kau buat menang
dan cinta hanya ada di awang awang

katamu ini cinta,
tapi kau mampu mendua
membagi cinta

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika ia mulai mencintai orang lain,
kau tidak rela?

katamu ini cinta,
tapi ketika ia meninggalkanmu dan berbahagia
kau memilih mencari orang lain juga?


katamu ini cinta, cintamu padanya.
tapi kau mengharapkan cintanya pula
...




mungkin ini bukan cinta

hanya jual beli rasa.


5/365

I see sadness in your eyes

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i want to come
into your world and make you smile.

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i want to be with you
so i can keep you from hurting

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i want to proof to you
i can make the sadness go away

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i want to be strong
So you can see you can do it too

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i want to always be there for you
So you can know there is someone really want to make you happy

I see sadness in your eyes
Thats why i put my happiness
As a pay for your sadness

I see sadness in your eyes.
Thats why i still stay
Even you leave me behind

Now i see sadness in my eyes, looking your happiness.

Maybe you can forgive me someday.


4/365

Happy New Year (again)

There is so many things happen at 2013.  The degree, the meeting with somebody new, the farewell.
People leave, come and the leaving again.  It is a life, it is a proccess.  Sometimes its just feel right to look back and hold long enough at the past, even we know its useless but we keep doing it again and again, sometimes.  We just never know what the future bring, but at least we can keep the present!

Happy new year eve. Wish you a good 2014!

1/365

Hell-o

So recently just posted my thoughts, some rambling ideas on my tumblr, and i dont know because the ad- or that link that i dont want, and whatvr happen here, i move on to here :  http://www.frozenletters.tumblr.com/ come and visit if you dont mind, or, whatever :))

Time Travel

*taken with my blackberry camera, kapuas 1 bridge @kamboja cafe*

Selalu ada kenangan disana, entah kenangan ditinggalkan atau meninggalkan, kemudian hanya duduk berjam-jam dengan segelas mochacinofrange, menikmati angin malam sambil menerawang, berusaha mengingat ingat semua hal yang telah terlalu lama lewat.  Kemudian mencoba mengingatnya dengan seorang teman yang sama, yang telah bersama melewati hari hari bertahun tahun sebelumnya ketika semua masa lalu itu adalah hal yang nyata.  Membicarakan hal yang sama, kegilaan dan kesalahan yang terus berulang, tempat itu telah berubah seiring waktu, cerita yang berubah, dengan pola pola yang sama, perasaan yang janggal, kekosongan yang aneh dan kelegaan yang tumpah ruah karena telah memuntahkannya begitu saja.  Tidak pernah ada solusi yang muncul, tidak pula closure, atau kesimpulan, atau penutup.  Hanya kelegaan.  Dan itu selalu lebih dari cukup.

Kadang ku tergoda untuk membuatmu berjanji, untuk selalu ada teman, tidak menghilang suatu saat tanpa kabar berita karena telah terlalu banyak hal dan mimpi yang dikejar maupun mengejar.  Berjanji untuk tidak bertemu kembali di suatu tempat dan berjarak seolah kita telah lupa akan semua yang pernah kita lewati bersama.  Berjanji untuk tidak ingkar, pula menampar dan mengingatkanku ketika aku yang berubah ingkar.

Berjanji untuk selalu ada, satu sama lain.  Tidak mengurang maupun menambah, tapi membagi habis.  Berjanji untuk masa depan, melegakan hari ini dengan pertemuan yang akan dirindukan, kemudian perpisahan yang akan selalu menjadi sementara.

Tapi janji hanyalah janji, dan yang abadi hanyalah tiada yang abadi. Maka cukuplah hari ini dengan segala.  Cukup dan terimakasih untuk ada, beserta harap yang tidak terlalu perlu, agar kita dapat bertemu di kesempatan selanjutnya.  

Jarak

Jarak, kukatakan ia pada hati yang berada jauh, disana, tiada tergapai.  Kenanganmu sejauh pelukan dan hatimu sedekat mimpi yang terlupa.  Maka pada jarak yang memisahkan hati yang tiada lagi menyatu kugenggam rinduku, pada bunga bunga yang tumbuh dalam tidur, berakar hari demi hari dalam imaji, kemudian menjadikannya memori. 

Pada dunia paralel, kau dan aku memadu rindu, atas skenario batas bawah sadarku sendiri, sejauh dekapmu, sedekat rinduku. 

Maka berikanlah aku kekuatan atas nama malam malam ketika aku terbangun dan menyadari dirimu terlalu sering hadir dalam mimpiku, hingga menuntut sebuah cerita yang terbalik.

Jika jarak bisa membuatkanku sebuah mesin waktu, untuk kembali mengulangi setiap detik, jejak nafas yang berpadu dalam waktu yang terlalu alpa menghitung jarak untuk pulang.  Maka kau adalah rumah yang selalu terlalu jauh untuk ku pulang.

Atas nama langit jingga yang mengintip sore dari balik jendela kemudian hilang sekejap mata ketika kau ingin mengabadikannya, seperti itu bayanganmu yang tiada rupa, namun berada dalam sadar, berada dalam tiada.

Suatu hari jika kau temukan awan yang terbentuk seperti cinta, putih meleraikan kapas, hancur dalam lebur tapi satu dalam janji maka itulah aku, yang telah mati dalam pengetahuanku yang terbatas tentang hatimu, berulang kali mencoba kembali namun bukan itu yang kucari tapi kau yang telah terlalu jauh pergi.

Kemudian jika kau temukan salju yang telah luruh, ingatlah aku yang merelakan diri menjadi hancur dan tiada berarti, atas nama mencintaimu. Namun tiada pernah sesal. Karena aku, hidup karenamu dan tanpamu, tiada punya arti. Lenyap dalam ada, Hadir dalam tiada.

5/12/2013

#InsightfulArticle

Basic Social Media Mistake Everyone Makes BY JEFF HADEN
This is the fourth in my series where I choose a topic, pick someone smarter than me (finding smarter people is turning out to be way easier than my ego prefers), and we trade emails. To find other articles in the series, go here, here, and here.
This time I talked to Shama Kabani, the founder and CEO of The Marketing Zen Group and the author of The Zen of Social Media Marketing.
Shama's premise: Most social media marketing efforts fail because, at a fundamental level, people don't use social media to connect with businesses--or even with each other. People use social media to showcase their own identities.Jeff: You realize this premise is completely opposite from what most people think? Social media is supposed to be about connection, not reflection. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Shama: And that's why most businesses get poor results. A social site is as much a digital mirror as it is a social platform. Connection starts with understanding the meaning and impact of that reflection.
Jeff: You're going to have to explain that.
Shama: I did my graduate thesis on Twitter back when it only had a few thousand users. My first questions were, "Why would people tweet? Why would they share what they are doing?"
While I was doing the research I had this light bulb moment. My original hypothesis was that we use social media to connect with each other, but I found the primary reason we use social media is to showcase our own identities.
Jeff: So we're all a bunch of narcissists.
Shama: It's not narcissistic at all. It's like in kindergarten (in a good way): You're having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the kid next to you says he likes peanut butter and jelly, then he says he likes blue crayons, and you like blue crayons... that's how we make friends and become who we are. We showcase our identities, and based on the reflection or reaction of other people, we tweak our identities.
The same is true when you're a teenager and, say, your friends like rock music. They wear certain clothes... so you do, too.
The only difference is that now all that is online. Think about Facebook profiles; Facebook really gets the idea that people, first and foremost, want to showcase who they are. Social media is like a mirror we hold up to show how we are unique and special.
It's like we're decorating the inside of our lockers again. We just transferred that to the Web.
The platforms have changed, but the principles of how we behave and how we express ourselves? Not really.
Jeff: I get that. A friend loves to add stuff to his Facebook timeline. I tease him because he acts like a painter finishing a masterpiece. When he's done he's a little too pleased with himself. (I know you said it's not narcissistic, but in his case I'm not so sure.)
But I'm not sure how understanding that helps a business improve its social media marketing efforts.
Shama: Here's how. Most companies still focus on the secondary aspect: Getting them to connect with us. Too many companies say, "Business is about marketing and branding. We will create a brand. We will tell people who we are."
That's backwards. Realizing that social media is a mirror forces companies to think not about what they want their brand to be, but what their brand says about the individual.
And that's why a cupcake shop can rack up more likes than a major corporation. Liking the little cupcake shop down the street says something about me as an individual: Maybe they only use organic ingredients and that's important to me. Or maybe they donate a portion of their revenue to a charity I support. In some way, that cupcake shop is a reflection of my identity and an extension of my identity brand. It reflects something I see in myself.
Liking a big company... what does that do for me? Not much. What does that say about me? Nothing.
Jeff: That's probably why I've never felt compelled to "like" a big company. (Maybe that's why I don't even have a Facebook account?)
Plus there's the association factor. If I like a fast-food chain I'm not going to declare it publicly. I'm not going to like an athlete's foot powder or a dandruff shampoo or adult diapers. (Not that I need any of those!) That would not only say something about me, it would say too much about me.
But I would like my local bike shop because they lead local bicycle advocacy efforts, help build new trails... and they're great guys. So liking them would say something I would feel good about saying.
Shama: For a business, what matters most is not what your brand says about you--it's what your brand says about the people you want to interact with.
The heart of building a community, whether you're a B2B or a B2C, is recognizing what that community cares about. It's not manipulative, it's not sneaky--it's the most authentic way to brand your business and grow a following online.
It's not manipulative because it's about what you do, not what you say. It's about what you do and what that says about the people who like you for doing it.
Jeff: I see and hear stuff like "Like us on Facebook!" or "Follow us on Twitter!" all over the place, and I always wonder what the business is thinking. Why would I? You haven't given me a reason.
And I'm immediately turned off when I have to "like" a business to get a discount or special offer. But maybe that's just me.
I wouldn't feel a connection to the company. It would just be a a transaction. "Here's my like, now give me my discount."
Shama: There's a much better approach that doesn't require incentives or promotions. (Although there is nothing wrong with either.)
I was speaking at a real estate conference and a number of people said they were frustrated because they had created social media platforms for their real estate businesses and nothing was happening. The problem was they had sites... but those sites didn't say anything about the people they wanted to engage.
But if they changed their focus and created a site like, say, "Why Dallas Rocks," and it was powered by Dallas Realtors... then you can get likes because it says a lot about me: I like my city, I like my community... and I like you for getting that.
The same is true for a wedding site. Say you sell bridal gowns--how many people are going to follow you? Change the focus. Create a site like "All About Brides," or "I Can't Believe I'm Engaged," or "OMG I'm Engaged!"... powered by Downtown Bridal.
Which will get more likes? The site focused on showing people what you are, or the site focused on what brides feel about themselves? Brides will want to connect with you when they know you get them.
Jeff: But what if I'm in a service business? What if my business isn't so much about products but about, for want of a better way to put it, me?
Shama: The same principle applies; in fact, when people are the focus it can be even more powerful.
That's why letting people connect with the CEO works so well. It's an extension of your brand. It's a relationship. Who would you rather connect with, a company or a person?
And that's why I resisted creating a page for our agency for a long time. I finally caved in when we decided to use it for customer service and answering questions. But it proves my point: I have over 200k Facebook subscribers, and our agency page has a few thousand. People like being able to connect with the CEO.
People want to connect with people. When you connect with a person at a business, it's like you know someone there. That's really powerful.
Jeff: Now put it into action. Tell me what to do.
Shama: The key is to forget what you want to say about yourself. Think about what your customers want to say and feel about themselves.
1. Start with your customers.Forget your brand. What do your customers see as their brand?
Forget your messaging. What is the messaging of your audience?
For example, there's an Italian restaurant nearby. The interior is splashed with pictures of the owners, their families, and generations of people who have eaten there. They encourage customers to put their pictures up. When you walk in you instantly know they care about family, about tradition... you can tell family means everything to them.
People who care about family connect with the restaurant because it says something about how they see themselves.
Think in broader terms. How do your customers see themselves? What is important to them?
2. Create a platform that integrates your customers' brand with what you offer.One of our clients runs chiropractic clinics. Many of their patients were injured in accidents. So they built a "don't text and drive" platform. They've created an entire campaign around preventing accidents. They frequently speak at schools and community events. They even created a pledge people can feature on their profiles to show it's something they care about. It's like bumper stickers on steroids.
The community cares about protecting their kids and, be honest, adults, because everyone is guilty of texting while they're driving. Our client cares about it, too. And they prove it.
Or take American Express: Who would join a social network for a credit card company? No one. So Amex built Open Forum and created a community for small business people who need information and resources. They do crazy numbers. If a credit card company can do it... you can too.
Determine what you stand for, blend that with what your customers care about, and find the right balance point.
3. Be part of a movement.Marketing has always been about you: Your needs and your objectives.
Of course the goal is to get leads and sales, but with social media you should look at something bigger, become a part of a movement... be part of something your audience cares about.
Then you get more than bottom line results: You get to be a part of something bigger and more meaningful.
The Dallas YMCA did a campaign featuring stories about their members and how the Y changed their life. In effect they created a collage of beautiful stories and pictures. Those stories mean something to people. We all want to change our lives for the better and to be around people who feel the same way.
Bottom line: Don't mistake the medium for the message. That's not what it is.
Find a way to be of service--and to be a part of something bigger than your business.

Source page : www.inc.com <http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/basic-social-media-marketing-mistake-everyone-makes.html>

Very insightful artile to read, tells that our social media reflect who we are, help to know ourself better to 'communicate' more with people...

MondayMovies

Tittle : The Hunger Games Trilogy ; Catching Fire

Director : Francis Lawrence

Producer : Nina Jacobson& Jon Kilik

Starring : Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson

Distributor : Lionsgate

Running Time : 146 Minutes

Catching Fire is the second from the trilogy hunger games by the book from Suzanne Collins.  As a fan from reading the book, i think this movie is give me a very satisfying visual from my imagination as i read the book before, the moment is captured right, if i can compare from Harry Potter that had many scene that not describe the book a lot.  This movie is relief me, because no surprise entry from the plot, but the excitement from the actress and actors about how they act their role.  I can feel the thrill, the fear, worry and desperateness, especially from the main role, Katniss Everdeen that i think could be the best performance with the strong, independence, rebelious but also have many affection to her family and 'innocent' people around her.  The amusement of fashion is completed the visual effect, especially the dress wear by Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen and Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket is sooo unique, then the detail of interior from the set is makes me jealous to have! (even its comes from a train).  Then the set from the forest, the combat's arena is exatly like what describe from the book (i think the detail description from the book is help too) so people would get satisfy because what in their imagination is look alike the book. I hope the next movie, Mockingjay could bring the same level of excitement like this.  Increase my mood level 5/5 to watch this monday and can't wait to have it on dvd format! Enjoy!

Star: 5/5 (five from five-very recommended)

*taken at google catching fire movie poster

3 days for a lifetime

This week is so unforgettable for me, a yudicium at my campus, yudicium for my faculty and then graduation.  Its like happiness to celebrate the joy that finally i can finish my study, but also tearful to realize that most of my friends would be gone, because they must going back to their town and work there for a long time.  

My friends at the dormitory and campus, called andalan89 is the second family for me.  Because i think they're the closest friends i ever had.  I think in a life out here i'm not easy to make friends before, to open up my feelings, building a wall so no one can let in.  But at the dorm, there is so many time we spent, so i let all that happen, to make them see how fragile i was, how crazy, how sad, or how happy i am.  I let them see who i really am.  Angry, jealous, sad, happy, fall in love then a broken heart, all the complete feeling that i share, that i tell honestly, without any 'blow-up' or 'cut-out'.  The moment that makes me feels like home, feels like something familiar and acceptable, like a family. That can accept me for everything i ever done and for every mistakes i ever made.  I think 4 years is so unforgettable and amazing.

Thank you for such an amazing years.

Sebuah tanda titik

denganmu, aku pernah belajar jatuh cinta, berulang ulang kali
begitu pula dengan patah hati dalam tangisan yang lerai berhari
mencintaimu, pernah menjadi beban bagi diriku sendiri
sedang merelakanmu, kini adalah kelegaan bagi hatiku sendiri
dan sebuah bahagia untuk awal yang baru, bagimu.

Maka masa lalu adalah tempat dimana kita tiada berpijak
waktu bukan menjadikannya tiada
hanya terlampau buru buru meninggalkan kita
yang suatu hari nanti akan melabuh jangkar
tak terjangkau di tempat yang terlampau jauh untuk aku gapai

saat ini, telah lain dalam hati hingga percuma memaksa
karena momen yang terperangkap dalam lalu
tak akan kembali

hati ini telah jauh, jatuh
pergi dan tumbuh
airmata pun telah mengering
berganti tawa dari yang lain

kita, jauh suatu hari nanti
memang tiada akan ada lagi

pontianak, 20 november 2013

Yellow

Yellow by oktriastra featuring neon yellow jeans

Casual Works

Casual Works by oktriastra featuring cotton shorts

TVSeries Week

Genre	Action/Adventure Science fiction Comedy-drama Superhero
Created by	Joss Whedon Jed Whedon Maurissa Tancharoen
Based on	S.H.I.E.L.D. by Stan Lee Jack Kirby
Starring	Clark Gregg Ming-Na Wen Brett Dalton Chloe Bennet Iain De Caestecker Elizabeth Henstridge
Composer(s)	Bear McCreary[1]
Country of origin	United States
Originallanguage(s)	English
No. of seasons	1
No. of episodes	6 (List of episodes)
Production
Executiveproducer(s)	Joss Whedon Jed Whedon Maurissa Tancharoen Jeffrey Bell Jeph Loeb
Producer(s)	Garry A. Brown
Editor(s)	Paul Trejo
Cinematography	David Boyd
Running time	43 minutes
Productioncompany(s)	ABC Studios Marvel Television Mutant Enemy[2]
Distributor	Disney-ABC Domestic Television
Broadcast
Original channel	ABC
Picture format	720p (HDTV)[3]
Audio format	5.1 surround sound[3]
Original run	September 24, 2013 – present
Chronology
Related shows	Marvel Cinematic Universe (film franchise)

Poster picture from here

So recently just spent my hours with exploring another serial movie to watch, and i find the interesting one : Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division) At first i just get bored with my 'usual' serial and try to watch something new.  This new serial is satisfy me! (at least at the first season, updated until episode 6 for now).  

Why i love it? because the serial contains this aspects: nerd, high-technology, man in suits, actions, spy, hacker, spybase-plane and flying car! Its absolutely my type of fun :D 

I think its a 'huge' series from the technology. That explain after The Avengers Movie at the cinema, the s.h.i.e.l.d just develop and select a team that can manage the hi-tech resource and solve the 'world's problem' that related with unknown power that closely like the other heroes.

The teams collect very interesting people, two trained agents that can we say have a lack of social skills, a bio-chemical, engineer and the last recruit is the hacker that already hacked their systems from a laptop at her van.

It is always interesting when you mix people from their speciality that have a different skills.  Some just trained at the fields some just a scientist that mostly a little bit awkward.  This series gives a description about people who love, passionate about their job, very awesome job, i think :).  Especially, the team is the part of Government that hope could solve the problem in the world and can win the best situation, so they recruit people from any specialities to get different perspectives.  I hope one day my government, Indonesia could manage a professional civil servant that can be very focused and skillful for their job, so we can watch the achievement at the local news and some heroic action, even at this series, the most 'heroic' department very glad to make it keep silent and undercover. ;p

enjoy your watch!

Something In The Middle of The Night

Recently, because almost zero activity in the weekend i sleep well at the day and awake at the middle of the night. It makes me wondering and overthink.  About anything that happened at the past.  Bad effect that haunts me a guilty, loss and sorrow feeling, its just horrible.  But i know, yesterday is already gone, nothing i can do to change it, because i just have a chance to live the life today.

Being very blessed to have a religion, have something to hold on when i think i drawn.  Besides Qur'an, the most powerful book i ever read is La Tahzan.  567 pages, sometimes when i feel sad and down, i just open it random and always be more positive and inspire.  

For some reason, i'm not a very religious person.  Especially for the 'cover', but i think i have a very big respect and interest with some religious view.  For me, religion have it own purpose to make things right, to makes me keep insane, to be a reason someone to be strong, to feel motivated, loved, inspire.  Religion is the answer of your negativity, a total defencelessness to the bigger power that can wipe your worry, sorrow, guilty and whatsoever that makes your life messed, religion is the saviour.

I dont have very much belief, because some aspect just not fit into my mind, so i live my life with integrate what i get with what i feel, i'm not a total believer but i'm an open minded person that have my own filtering-system to make it right for me.  I think thats the point to mix life with religion, to make it with purpose, to know the purpose so we can 'make' it right, to not be blinded, but open the eyes and feel it in your heart.  

So, i think i will finally sleep well tonight.