If you ever be in the situation that awkward, something that you dont want to be there, but you still. Because you just can't escape, because you dont have another better option. Deal with the available option or just say no and be alone. Sometimes you just dont know. The gut just tell you, you want to be nowhere, or you may still can't deal with your past. I never be so sure.
Life just contain so many complicate thing you never be so sure about whats happen or whats happen next. I want to try something new, but i just stuck with the available option over and over again. The option that i cant choose. Its felt so miserable. I think i just messed up, end with want something abstract, something miracle, something 'life-changing'. But its life really like that? its life full of miracle and fantasy? Of course no. But deep inside me, i know that i want that miracle, i want to create one. I dont know if i will success or just keep my hope wide open and then crush it away. And then i watch this serial, beauty and the beast, that say something like, life is full of risk, and maybe sometimes, all the risk is worth to get what you really desire of. Maybe you must give a try. Give a try over and over again, because if its really worth, the universe just conspire and everything will be fit. Maybe.