Saturday, October 12, 2013


Actually there is nothing special from this day, just a symbol that you are getting older. Most people are celebrating. They celebrate with people who care enough, people who sincere enough to being busy to make another people happy. Thats the point of being a human, to have someone that willing to make you happy, to please you, to care enough about you.  Someone that gladly you call a friend indeed, family, BFF or even a soulmate.  

At this point i just feel so ... half-empty and half-full. Half full because i know that there is something going on in my life and half empty because i dont know whats going on because all of the 'fullness' just feel empty.  At this point i just feel lost, feel miserable.  In this age, i still can't reach anything.  Call me ungrateful but for now its just feel like a waste.  A place i dont want to, a life i still dont want to, a search i can't find to and someone i dont want to be with.

Life is not about anything you want.

Then this song, if i die young just cross my head.  What if one shocked day i just be dead, life would not losing, life dont care, people will be pretend to be sad but they just dont give a f*ck.  People in this world just think about themselves, just like me.  The angry state comes when people just think about themselves and pretend to care with other people's problem, they think they understand but they dont, they think they care but they dont, they do it just to relief themself so they can feel satisfy about what they do to others, they satisfy because they think they help others, even they actually dont give a f*ck, no one give a f*ck, just like me.

I think this post is just another negative though about me, written in the middle of the night that i feel so miserable.  Feel free to enjoy the pain, its life, anw.

(not so) happy 22th birthday.

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